Ixlusions

I sometimes wonder if I share how i feel with you, will you even care? It’s easy to say you do and easier for a person like me to believe that you do.

But you see with all of that emotional and mental unstability I’ve got some trust issues too.

Will you believe if I say this is how it has been?:  “Having depression is caring about nothing.

Anxiety is caring about everything.

Having both is caring too much about nothing.”

Will you believe if say that this fight is getting tiring not because I’m fighting hard but maybe because I’m fighting over nothing?

It’s a fight of me against me, who do you think will win?

You think I don’t know that I don’t have to be scared of doing the basic regular stuff that everyone else can easily do?

You think I don’t know that the comparison I make with myself and the ones my people always talk about is useless?

You think I don’t know that I’ve lost myself in this fight while trying to be someone else?

Crying and hiding is for the weak ones they said.

They said they were making me strong, they were trying to make me look presentable for the people who don’t even know. (me)

It seems like the hold was too tight.

Not sure if it was due to the suffocation or maybe something within must have broken.

Now, I’m not hurting myself. I’m hurting others.

Do you feel it too? The slow push that’s slowly coming towards you?

Yes, I’m running away but is it really from you?