Ixlusions

I’m not useless
just a little lost.
I maybe dumb
but how come everyone ignored that I’m all numb.
They call me pretty
but never made me feel like one.
They know that I’m week,
never payed much attention to how I skip most of my meals.
The whole comparing thing is not a big deal for me now
because I’m completely dead somehow.
I’m not useless
just lost.
Why are they not coming to find me?
Oh i see, they’re busy blaming me.
People say you have to be your own soldier
but what if I find the choice of being lost better?
There overthinking made me stop thinking.
Funny how they find my quite self appraising.
They know that they’ve failed,
that’s why they choose me to blame.
I understand them
but why don’t they understand
that I’m tired of understanding them.
This is a story of how one never gave up and one gave up too quickly.
Emotions were what they took too lightly.
How do I be like others
when this is how things are for me.
How about changing expecting with accepting.
Maybe things will get better,
maybe it’ll feel like a relief.
I’m not useless,
just…